It’s Not My Back

How many times have people been well-meaning and said to me “I hope your back feels better” as some standard gesture acknowledging my pain but when they really don’t actually want to hear any more about it.

First of all, my pain’s not in my back. It’s in the parts I use to sit, and where I feel the most feminine. It’s where I gave birth. I understand people don’t want to say the V word. I don’t want to say it myself. And technically my pain is in the nerves within the muscle tissue in a few locations, so it’s not just about any one particular location anyway. I fractured my coccyx which is technically part of the back.

Using the term “pelvic pain” can mean a lot of things, so I understand why people don’t understand it. The pelvic region is large. Most people know about back pain. They understand it. They’ve felt it. This isn’t the same. I get back pain too sometimes, but it’s very different. When you’re actively sitting on the site where you’re feeling the most pain, that’s a huge lifestyle choice. It’s different putting pressure directly on a pain point vs. aggravating that area because of your position.

I don’t want to feel like I need to give people an anatomy lesson when they’re attempting to be kind about my health, but sometimes I can’t help just saying “it’s not my back.”

One response to “It’s Not My Back

  1. I love your post because it is so true! I have to sit a lot at work and I will often try to stand or even squat while typing on my computer (I am hoping to get a sit/stand desk soon). Coworkers will see me squatting and wonder what on earth I am doing. They will often make suggestions like a better chair or a Pilates ball and I have to find a delicate way to say that it’s not a matter of getting a different chair. In other words, it’s not my back!
    I am so glad I came across your blog, and look forward to reading more posts. I am also a patient suffering from pelvic and sexual pain and recently started a blog,, to share my lessons learned as well. Thank you for all you are doing to try to reach and help so many of us out there suffering from pelvic pain!

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