How many times have people been well-meaning and said to me “I hope your back feels better” as some standard gesture acknowledging my pain but when they really don’t actually want to hear any more about it.
First of all, my pain’s not in my back. It’s in the parts I use to sit, and where I feel the most feminine. It’s where I gave birth. I understand people don’t want to say the V word. I don’t want to say it myself. And technically my pain is in the nerves within the muscle tissue in a few locations, so it’s not just about any one particular location anyway. I fractured my coccyx which is technically part of the back.
Using the term “pelvic pain” can mean a lot of things, so I understand why people don’t understand it. The pelvic region is large. Most people know about back pain. They understand it. They’ve felt it. This isn’t the same. I get back pain too sometimes, but it’s very different. When you’re actively sitting on the site where you’re feeling the most pain, that’s a huge lifestyle choice. It’s different putting pressure directly on a pain point vs. aggravating that area because of your position.
I don’t want to feel like I need to give people an anatomy lesson when they’re attempting to be kind about my health, but sometimes I can’t help just saying “it’s not my back.”